State of Mind

It may sound obvious, but I've come to learn that regret is caused by a changing mindset. The mind has many states due to new experiences, changing environments, etc. In each state of mind, you'll have a different decision making process and be satisfied with completely different decisions. For example, someone who plays World of Warcraft 8 hours per day will be happy and satisfied to make the decision of not hanging out with friends or pursuing career ambitions. At the same time, careerist such as an investment banker will feel obligated to sacrifice leisure and family pursuits for job promotions.

So where does the regret part come in? In our youth, the state of mind is by no means stationary but is transient. When your state of mind changes (and thus your decision making process), you'll look back at past decisions made under a different mentality and regret them, since those decisions no longer make any sense to you. When we're young this doesn't really matter and should be accepted, but as one settles down and makes long-term decisions (such as marriage, decisions to move and switch career paths, etc.) it's important to stay within a consistent mindset and reduce any irrational wandering. Sometimes our state of mind may be temporarily affected by new experiences, such as influential words from a book we read or a compelling talk w/ a new friend. One should always be wary of these effects and stay clear-headed, while thinking independently.

As we ground ourselves and stabilize within certain bounds of a state of mind, regret will occur less frequently and we may even find some form of contentment.

Independent thinking

Leaders are able to think independently. In particular, they are experts in taking others' words with a grain of salt. As human beings, we have a tendency to be influenced and guided by others' opinions, especially when the person making the opinion appears to be one who knows what he's talking about.

The conflict lies in the fact that as social beings, we want to be able to not only to listen to others, but value their words. However, if you value the words too much, you may just start acting on them. The right approach is to maintain a balance - appreciate the opinion, but still be selfish in judging and critiquing the opinion, regardless of how sensical or good-intentioned it may be.

What smart people do: thinking over new information

Smart people think a lot, or at least a great deal more than average people, about what's communicated to them, including what they read, what they see, and what the hear. When reading, hearing, and watching, they're constantly thinking if what they're witnessing is valid. They think about how the information can be used practically. They themselves are able to have a logically valid reaction to the information, or find holes and flaws in that information.

P.S. I'm not trying to make the claim that I'm actually smart (in fact, I think I'm very mediocre at best, or maybe a smart wannabe), or even define what being smart really is. This is just a casual series of observations I've made of people whom I personally believe are highly intelligent, including successful entrepeneurs and highly motivated field experts/researchers. Basically people who set high goals for themselves and have managed to achieve them with their brains.